Ok, here it is, after much debate and defiance within myself, after much self doubt and thoughts of “what the hell am I doing” mixed with a little, “this is totally pointless…” here is what this month is going to look like:
One pair of leggings
Those are my seven articles of clothing-unders not included (for the stingy out there).
Two pairs of shoes (Toms and boots)
No jewelry [except for either a watch or my precious Bible verse bracelet]
Minimal makeup (so the children don’t cry): foundation, concealer, powder, blush, mascara.
No makeup stocking.
No flat/curling iron.
[like I have time/money to get either of those done regularly…but. just for the sake of the experiment, I’m gonna list them.]
My “beauty” remedies will consist of home treatments. Homemade hair products, facial masks, oil pulling [all the rage on pinterest]…We’re going natural here, folks.
This month has already been really hard…and it is only my first day in. I feel tired (probably because I’m back to eating crap], and I want to cover it up. I want to hide behind the mask of makeup that makes my eyes look whiter, and shapes my cheekbones, and to straighten my hair so I could at least pretend like I have it all together. The reality of it is, I’m tired. And you are going to see it now more than ever-because I have nothing to hide behind now.
This month is about finding my beauty in the Lord, and rooting it there. With that, I can’t use makeup or clothes to hide the obvious marks of exhaustion and stress that have come to make their home on my face and body over the past six months [read: acne-i hate you. and I am not calling myself fat. I’m just saying that my energy level has gone way way wayyyyy down since I stopped working out when I got the boys.] It is time to get back on track with regular exercise, rest, and natural face care. I’ve got to rely on myself to get all this back on track. And I’ve got to rely on the Lord to radiate through me in this month.
I started thinking silly girl thoughts such as “well, I’m definitely not meeting anyone this month…” And the Lord was faithful to quickly remind me of my desire just six months ago to be a missionary in India. So I looked through the pictures and remembered the feelings of beauty, pure and true beauty that was not shaken with the stress or trials of the day. I was in my element, and I was serving my Jesus, and nothing was going to stop that radiance from beaming out.
And I was reminded of Ruth, who attracted Boaz by her virtue while still in her widows rags.
Oh Ruth, you never cease to teach me something new.
And I was lastly reminded of living out of living out of my suitcase my first month of having the boys. I had no time to get all my stuff, so I made due with what I had, and I felt worn out and uncomfortable–but my beauty was all at once redefined. It didn’t matter what I was wearing anymore or how my hair looked, because my beauty was resting in my call to be a nurturer.
Ok, vanity fast, bring it on.