A Year of Joy, Preceded by Sorrow.

On May 3rd, I began a new journal. It was the opening of a new season, full of waiting and rest, anticipation and worry over what would come. I was weary with restlessness–I was weary with rest; wondering if my life was ever going to start. I was praying over the opportunity to travel the world doing missions, and I was desperate with answers. I was wrestling and discovering. 

May 8th, 2012. This day last year, I began my study in the book of Ruth. I had no idea why God was gently pushing me to read and study; but the first sermon I listened to, on Ruth 1:1-5, was titled “A Journey Through Sorrow;” it’s main points? Life is like a tapestry-we see the back, tattered, frayed, disoriented, but when we turn it around, we are able to see it is a work of art, intricately woven. The Master weaver even made the unbearable pain of Naomi to work out for the good. 

I think I have a small understanding of why God called me to study the book of Ruth this year. I am still in it. I am parked and enthralled and completely enraptured by this portion of Scripture–as one theologian called it, this “mighty midget” of God’s Word. 

Lord, my heart feels so confused and pulled in a thousand directions; I pray Lord just for great guidance. I pray Lord, that you would lead me in such a way that is undeniable to look back and see you have paved my path…whether it is the World Race or women’s ministry, social work, or being a wife, I just pray that your mighty breath would blow me there…

May 8, 2012

On this day last year, I felt the Lord asking me to stay-to stay home for three days and just rest and bask in his presence and his word. I spent three days discovering Jesus deeply. I prayed that simple prayer above, and he surely answered it beautifully. His Spirit came, and guided me; the same breath that blew me into existence blew me into adventure with Himself. 

And I wouldn’t change a thing. Not a chance. 

Where we show up, Jesus responds. When we seek, he is quick to be found. When we ask, he answers, and He surely leads and guides his fragile kids by still waters and tumultuous roads. He is present in them both, as is Joy.

The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.