An Old Newsletter

We have a small stack of newsletters that were sent to specific readers during the time we had the boys, and immediately after the reunification. This is one of them: 

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God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.
Psalm 46:5

The boys have developed a new love for Peter Pan since we visited Disneyland last week. The day after court, we surprised them with a day at the Happiest Place on Earth. Floyd saw the parade for the first time, and that’s where he made his real life encounter with, the one and only, Peter Pan. I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my face as I watched his eyes grow wider and wider by the second as he waved and yelled out for Peter. When Peter noticed him, Floyd bashfully rested his cheek on my shirt and then gave me a kiss-it was his way of saying “Did you see that, Mama Sally? He saw me. He saw me!”

I saw the same wonder in his eyes this morning when he noticed me in his preschool class. I volunteer every Thursday, tracing, cutting, helping kids put glitter on glue, and, I know this is a safe place, so I will say the totally unexpected: my intention in volunteering is to see my Floyd.

It’s ok to gasp if you need to.

Like Miriam watching Moses float down the Nile, I’m keeping my eyes on those boys through the reeds.

He was lying on the floor working on a puzzle when I walked in. He looked up, then looked back down. And, in a moment, he realized what he almost missed. He looked back up and ran towards me with his eyes lit up the same way they did as we watched the parade pass by. He stroked my face and whispered “Mama…mama…” as I weeped.

And, just like the parade had to continue passing by, we had to say our sweet goodbyes. And, just like Peter Pan reminds to the children to always believe in “hope, trust, and pixie dust…” I whispered to him over and over again “be strong and courageous, Jesus is always always with you. Be strong and courageous, Jesus is always always with you…”

And, with the same disheartened question of why the parade had to come to an end, the wonder shrunk from his face, and he got his mat for story time. And I left to a normal [but not my normal] routine.

The days leading up to the exchange, we invested in this new love for Peter Pan. At Disneyland, immediately after the parade, we rode the Peter Pan ride. The next night, we watched Return to Neverland. And the next night, we watched Hook.

I realized now why the boys loved this story from every angle. You see, they are the main character. They are the Lost Boys, desperate for a Wendy to tell the stories, to cuddle them, to simply love them and love them simply. It doesn’t take extravagant gifts and theories to love a child. All it takes is a little hope, trust, and pixie dust […or fun]. Watching them watching Pan in their torn up footies, hands under chin, eyes wide in wonder made me understand…they are my Little Lost Boys. Somehow, this fantasy from every angle gets them in ways that counselors and friends just simply can’t.

At bedtime I asked my Little Lost boys what they learned from Hook:

“Good ALWAYS defeats evil!”

“Always be yourself.”

“Make the most of your time.”

“The good boys ALWAYS beat the bad guys…”

Yes, son, yes! Yes! A million times: yes. You got it. And store those truths in your heart. Remember when all hope was lost, and all we had were the words of Wendy “Hook will never win”? Remember? We know all along, no matter what happens along the journey, that Pan holds the victory.

Oh but Pan is not perfect. And even he got captured and hurt a time or two. But our Jesus? Oh my Little Lost Boys, the victory is His. And the inheritance, the treasure, is yours. And Scripture tells me and you that that is something that can never tarnish or taken.