The “gentle spirit” and I have been in a fight for years. I am asked, as a woman of God, to let my “…adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” In my younger years of being a Christian, I saw that I was the farthest thing from this and wanted to change everything about myself to become quiet and gentle. I literally stopped talking for a while because I assumed the word quiet was literally saying “Sally, you are too loud, too obnoxious, too vivacious…shut up.” I assumed being gentle meant being a fairy-tale princess. Keeping my hands crossed in my lap, giggling at the appropriate time in the cutest manner possible, gasping at the slightest curse word. After a couple years of exhaustive striving, I read The Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning and was struck with this concept: Just Be. Just Be-when I stopped striving so much and just sat myself at Jesus’ feet, real growth began to occur. Just Be. Because the Lord has called me into this place, I can breathe again and experience the freedom that is so often spoken of in God’s Word. I am no longer resting the bondage of perfection; quite contrarily, I am bringing my imperfection to the Light-because in the arms of Jesus, I am so free to do so. And this is where beauty lies. Towards the end of May, I looked up the Greek for “Quiet and Gentle Spirit.” This concept literally changed my life and has been, through the Holy Spirit, my strength in the circumstances the Lord was setting before me:
“Meekness toward God is that disposition of spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good, and therefore without disputing or resisting. It is trust in God’s goodness and control over situations. The gentle person is not occupied with the self at all. This is a work of the Holy Spirit, not of the human will.”
Now that I can handle.