i sit here with a heavy heart.
i want to be ruined for anything but Jesus.
my dreams my desires my family my friends my wants my hopes longings money education church ministry even missions
ALL THAT MATTERS IS JESUS.
i am filled with such conflicting feelings-
joy. peace. relief. pity. fear. and….
i cannot even fully comprehend all that i am feeling.
all i know is that i am going to india.
to work for the Lord.
and i have such a feeling of certainty that is where i am supposed to be.
but i am absolutely terrified. but not even for the trip itself.
i am terrified of the journey i am about to embark on getting there.
opposition. stretching. molding. refining. stress….and shots.
i am legitimately terrified-yet so full of hope and excitement…
and even the fact that i am feeling so much
this is breaching new grounds of healing for me in itself.
prayers are so needed and appreciated.