Cheater.

I did it. I cheated. And I cheated bad tonight…

But I went into tonight knowing I was going to cheat. I let my two accountability partners know that I was going to cheat tonight. 

It was Clark’s birthday celebration at my dad’s house; and we have lasagna, then I made asparagus, spaghetti squash, and salad. And then my Step-mom whipped out the sundaes. In my defense, I brought my own “7” friendly meal, but I knew that it was going to raise more questions and concerns than was necessary, so I knowingly and readily prepared our meal, then conservatively filled my plate and ice cream bowl. 

And something beautiful met me here. I didn’t feel full of guilt…I am not going to bed disappointed in myself. I feel my heart resting in that same place of dependance and surrender that it has been in while I have been embracing this fast. 

Something wonderful is happening here. And I know I am still in the desert, but fruits are growing from this bare tree. It’s as if the dead leaves are slowly being plucked off to make room for beautiful fruit to sprout. 

And maybe I am being released from the legalistic tendencies that follow me–maybe tonight was to show me not only God’s grace in this process, but also the freedom and work of God that has just scratched the surface since October 22nd. And I can be well assured that more is to come. 

What a beautiful thing.