You would think that after almost a month into this, I would feel satisfied, and content, in this fast. Instead, this week is the hardest of all. The countdown until Wednesday. The countdown to my white chocolate lavender mocha, my white chocolate peppermint mocha, my new mug filled with something other than lemon water–something with froth and dairy. I wish there was a more spiritual side to this, but right now, there isn’t. I just miss coffee and dairy. I miss being able to eat raw cookie dough while I bake for the boys. Perhaps, as I bake them meals, this will open my eyes to a new sense of serving: I literally get nothing in return, not even the scraps from their plates. I just get extra saliva in my mouth.