Two weeks in; half way there. Literally 14 days left of this fast…That’s more than half way done.
And I write to you to tell you, it is ending early. Yes, I broke the fast tonight to dress up as a lumberjack, and came to the conclusion to not turn back.
I could give you the list of reasons and justifications in my head [such as I had the stomach flu the night before I began the fast, so my mind was not clear enough to decide what seven clothes were necessary…]; but mainly, I wasn’t getting closer to God. After two weeks, I just felt sad and ugly. Not spiritual and not filled. And I know it isn’t all about feeling good, and that it is good to step out of comfort, but I was experience the “good” empty feeling…I was just feeling empty.
And this month was not bathed in prayer as it should have been. I don’t want to give up on this month completely, but I want to go deeper into looking towards true beauty, rather than just taking “untrue” beauty out of my life and feeling “blech."
The next two weeks, I want to be filled up with God’s meaning of beauty. The verses that I recite to insecure girls are also true for insecure me, and not straightening my hair is not going to make those verses more alive to me…studying them is.
So that’s what I am looking towards for the next two weeks, if you have a problem with it, take it to the boss man upstairs.